This is a poem my good friend wrote for all those in need of a way out of grief...
*Swirling through the dense fog, strengthening, growing, seeping towards the light
I quiver, I cannot sustain myself, I fall
I stretch again but cling to my old passions
Can I let go? No, I slide away
Slinking towards the dawn
I shudder, I try my might again and again - I lose the battle
Flailing and screaching with wretched cries, what am I good for?
I am so lost but every time I try to find joy I fall upon myself!
I long for something out there, that isn't here, but it will not find me!
What if only a light could come here? A light could brace against the larger light and make me a path to find out
What would I do for that?
I reach but my arms are short - are these arms or wreaths of darkness?
Who am I really?
wWhat do I mean in this place of wailing?
Everyone is lost as me
Ghastly sights that shouldn't be, why do I seduce myself to these images?
What have we become?
What do we know when all we know is death?
What do we see when what we see is clouded?
What do we hear when only screaching fills our ears?
Harsh cries and toneless, harmony hasn't found his place, why did I?
What joy permeates where I exist?
Do I exist?
Why can't I live?
What is life really?
How do I know I've found it when all my senses are dulled to blank stares and senseless melodramas.....this is useless
I am useless!
Why do I even try?
why do i even try?
what could possibly come of my efforts, when i am but myself
what is there to tear me?
if there is no light, what is darkness really?
it can't be all bad.......what if I let the darkness eat me?
Yes. I shall become strong and rule myself!
I am king! I am goddess, I am ruler!
I live now! I see what is before me and only the edges of my vision are clouded.
They are clouded.
I can ignore such things....I have life now!
I live happy, I will die happy, I am not bad, I am good. I am worth. I am full.
Why do I feel empty?
I deceive myself.....where is the true meaning?
Why won't the light find me now?
Must I search and fail again?
Struggles are useless if there is no one to catch me later....I will fall to pits and darkness I do not want.
I desire a.....I do not know.
Who will show me light?
Who will show me life?
Who will show ME?
I sit here now and think, with failures, allures, sadness, darkness.
One place I dare not branch, but I have not tried this!
I can't go crazy, I have ration, I must see clearly.
Is there something more?
Someone has found me.
I am found.
Found, and now I am bound.